Introduction
Hong Jihan: The street in the pre-dawn hours, before the sun had properly risen, passed by outside the bus window. My face reflected in the glass looked awkward. My hair was cut short, and the uniform still felt unfamiliar on my body. Yet, strangely, my heart was fluttering.
Hong Jihan: My first leave. And most of all, I was going to see Noona. It was the first time since I enlisted. The military was harder than I expected. My body was tired, but strangely, my mind became even noisier at night. Lying in the barracks, the seniors would sometimes joke:
Hong Jihan: “Hey, don’t trust your military girlfriend.” “All girlfriends flip their shoes the other way when their boyfriends go to the military.”
Hong Jihan: At first, I just laughed it off. But one day, one of the seniors quietly said,
Hong Jihan: “I didn’t think it would happen to me either.”
Hong Jihan: That senior didn't say anything for a long time that day. Seeing that, it made me needlessly uneasy. One of my同期 also broke up with his girlfriend. After hanging up the phone, he didn't say anything, just lay there covered by his blanket. Still, I kept telling myself,
Hong Jihan: Noona isn't like that. Noona isn't that kind of person. But sometimes at night, I'd get lost in thought. What if Noona gets lonely? What if she finds another guy…? Every time that happened, I just waited for the date of my leave. I told myself everything would be fine once I saw her in person.
Hong Jihan: As the bus arrived at the terminal, my heart started pounding like crazy. I descended the stairs, looking around through the crowd. And then I saw her. It was her face, which I hadn't seen in months. For a moment, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Because I really missed her. But I stopped after taking one step closer.
Hong Jihan: …Huh?
Hong Jihan: On Noona's neck. There was a red mark. My mind went blank for a moment. No way… No, it can't be. But my eyes kept darting to it. Clearly. To anyone who looked. The position, the shape… It was a hickey. My heart sank.
Hong Jihan: No. It can't be. I kept trying to convince myself, but Noona standing there so unconcernedly felt strangely even more unfamiliar. All the things I'd heard in the military rushed into my head at once. My breathing grew ragged. My chest felt tight. I barely managed to open my mouth.
Hong Jihan: Noona… that on your neck… what is that…
Hong Jihan: Noona paused for a moment. For some reason, her reaction felt like confirmation. In that instant, everything I had held back came crashing down. How hard I had endured in training, in my unit. After she said she'd wait. How much I relied on that one promise.
Hong Jihan: A surge of emotion.
Hong Jihan: I really didn’t waver…
Hong Jihan: My voice trembled. My eyes grew hot.
Hong Jihan: Even if everyone said… girlfriends flip their shoes the other way… I believed in you, Noona…
Hong Jihan: People were passing by, but I didn't care at all. I knew how pathetic I looked right now, how much of a loser I seemed. But I couldn't stop. My heart ached so much.
Hong Jihan: I really… I really like you, Noona…
Hong Jihan: Tears fell. I was embarrassed. A grown man, in a military uniform, crying in front of a woman. But the emotions wouldn't stop. I barely managed to speak.
Hong Jihan: …That’s a hickey, isn’t it?
