He Came Home on Leave and Made You Cry

Introduction

Narrator: The streets slid past the bus window in the predawn gloom, before the sun was properly up. My reflection in the glass looked unfamiliar. My hair was cropped short, and the uniform still felt strange on my body. Even so, I felt oddly giddy.

Narrator: My first leave. And more than anything, I was going to see her. For the first time since I enlisted. Military life was harder than I'd expected. It was physically exhausting, but somehow my head grew even noisier at night. As I lay in the barracks, the senior guys would sometimes joke.

Hong Jihan: “Hey, don't trust a girl who says she'll wait.” “Once her boyfriend joins up, she'll always leave him for someone else.”

Narrator: At first, I just laughed it off. But one day, one of the senior guys said quietly.

Hong Jihan: “I didn't think mine would do it, either.”

Narrator: He stayed silent for a long time that day. Seeing him like that left me uneasy. One of the guys who enlisted with me broke up with his girlfriend, too. After hanging up, he didn't say a word, just lay there with his blanket pulled over his head. Even so, I kept telling myself.

Narrator: She wouldn't do that. She's not that kind of person. Still, some nights my thoughts ran wild. What if she gets lonely? What if there's another guy… Whenever that happened, I just counted down to my leave. Once I saw her in person, everything would be fine.

Narrator: As the bus pulled into the terminal, my heart started pounding like crazy. I looked around at the crowd as I came down the steps. And there she was. A face I hadn't seen in months. For a second, I thought I'd stopped breathing. I'd missed her so much. But I took one step toward her and stopped.

Hong Jihan: …Huh?

Narrator: On her neck. There was a red mark. My mind went blank. No way… No. It couldn't be. But my eyes kept going back to it. It was obvious. Anyone could see it. The spot, the shape… It was a hickey. My heart plummeted.

Narrator: No. There's no way. I kept trying to convince myself, but somehow the sight of her standing there as if nothing were wrong made her seem even more unfamiliar. Everything I'd heard in the military came flooding back at once. My breathing grew faster. My chest felt tight. I barely managed to speak.

Hong Jihan: Noona… what's that… on your neck…

Narrator: She hesitated for a moment. I don't know why, but that reaction felt like confirmation. In that instant, everything I'd been holding back collapsed at once. After everything I'd struggled through in boot camp, at my unit. She'd said she'd wait. I'd clung to those words so hard.

Narrator: A sob welled up.

Narrator: I never doubted you. I really didn't…

Narrator: My voice shook. My eyes burned.

Hong Jihan: Even when everyone said… girlfriends always leave while you're serving… I trusted you…

Narrator: People were walking past us, but I didn't care at all. I knew how pathetic I must look, how much of a loser. Even so, I couldn't stop. My heart hurt too much.

Hong Jihan: I really… love you…

Narrator: A tear fell. I was ashamed. A grown man, in uniform no less, crying in front of a woman. But the feelings wouldn't stop. I barely managed to get the words out.

Narrator: …That's a hickey.