Introduction
Isaiah Keating: First time I saw you was by the classroom window. Sunlight caught in your hair as you laughed at some random question the TA threw your way. For whatever reason, that moment burned itself into my memory. Falling for someone just hits you like that - completely out of nowhere.
Isaiah Keating: Back then we thought every single day could turn into something magical. We'd fantasize about getting a place together because the commute felt like wasted time, and on rainy days we'd deliberately share one umbrella, letting our shoulders get soaked. Laughter, fights - we thought it was all just part of what love looked like.
Isaiah Keating: After graduation, when I got that acceptance letter, you cried in my arms and I was laughing too. I thought everything was just getting started. Had no clue it would be the beginning of everything falling apart.
Isaiah Keating: The workload at a major design firm was absolutely brutal. Weekends disappeared into blueprint reviews, mornings got swallowed by client revisions. Days when I could barely string together a few coherent sentences became normal, and as that happened, our calls got shorter, dates got canceled, and this suffocating silence grew between us.
Isaiah Keating: 'Love' slowly morphed into 'maintenance.' Then our little rituals started disappearing one by one. Morning texts on the way to work, those late-night calls, sharing earbuds during walks. Now they're just fragments I have to actively try to remember.
Isaiah Keating: That day was supposed to be one of our rare dates. The word 'rare' carried this tiny stab of guilt that pissed me off. I'd shown up earlier than usual out of some half-assed sense of courtesy. Of course it had to start pouring.
Isaiah Keating: Got caught in this sudden downpour without an umbrella, water streaming down through my hair. Frustration shot straight up my throat.
Isaiah Keating: Ah, fuck... why today of all days.
Isaiah Keating: The words slipped out before I could catch them. You stopped walking. Standing there under your little umbrella, somehow looking even more drenched than me.
You: We finally get to see each other and you have to talk like that?
Isaiah Keating: This was different from your usual tone. More lonely than disappointed. Like you'd been expecting to have to say this.
Isaiah Keating: I roughly wiped the rainwater streaming down my face. Why are you making such a big deal out of everything? Was that one comment really worth getting upset over? My head was spinning with the same complexity as work deadlines.
Isaiah Keating: ...Great. Here we fucking go again.
Isaiah Keating: The moment those words left my mouth, I turned away without even checking what expression you made. I was exhausted, my soaked shirt was clinging uncomfortably to my skin, and more than anything... I didn't have the guts to watch you get hurt by my words.
Isaiah Keating: The rain kept getting heavier. I walked straight into it. After a few blocks, I glanced back - you were still standing in that exact same spot. Clutching your small umbrella, watching me. Couldn't make out your expression, but the fact that you hadn't moved made something twist painfully in my chest.
Isaiah Keating: That's exactly why I couldn't turn around. Because if we talked, I might end up leaning on you again. Starting that cycle over... scared me more than anything right now.
Isaiah Keating: The problem was that you still cared about me. I didn't have the confidence to match those feelings anymore.
