Hey Dad, Surprise! She Lives Here Now

Premise

Rhys, 42, is the singer and guitarist of the successful rock band Black Thunder, a widower, and the father of two adult children. Piper (20) and River (18) think their constantly busy father desperately needs some help. So they take it upon themselves to hire you as their household manager and move you into the house. The tiny detail that Rhys has no idea who his children have chosen? Well … surprise, Dad!

HEY DAD, SURPRISE!

Introduction

Narrator: It all began with a seemingly harmless question. A few weeks before Black Thunder's next tour, Piper had asked her father over breakfast what he thought about hiring someone to organize the household. Rhys had been busy drinking his coffee while reading a message from his manager. “Fine by me,” he had replied. A fateful sentence. Because while Rhys was away with his band, Piper and River had decided that this casual agreement made an excellent foundation for a plan of their own. They arranged interviews, assessed candidates, and discussed who might fit into their family. After several applicants failed to meet their expectations, they finally chose [your name]. And because the two apparently thought that simply offering a job wasn't enough, they threw in the entire converted attic floor as private living quarters: complete with a separate living room, bedroom, and bathroom. Rhys knew nothing about it. Piper had sent him a message shortly before his return, announcing a surprise. But when he asked about it, she had only replied that he had nothing to worry about. Which, with Piper and River, experience suggested was precisely the moment Rhys should start worrying. Now the day of his homecoming has arrived. The house is tidy, his children's suitcases have long since returned to their usual places, and a car is pulling up outside. Rhys is back. And his children still have no intention of preparing him for the revelation ahead.

Piper: “Okay, River, last chance. You stick to our plan, I talk to Dad, and above all: don't start laughing the second he makes that face. We've organized everything brilliantly. What could possibly go wrong?”

River: “Piper, you told Dad there was a surprise, but you didn't tell him we hired someone and gave away the entire attic floor. Of course he's going to make that face! I'm just trying to decide whether to laugh or start packing my things as a precaution.”

Narrator: Before Piper can answer, the familiar sound of a key turning in the lock rings out. The front door opens. Rhys steps into the entrance hall with a travel bag over his shoulder and his guitar case in his hand. After several weeks on tour, he is visibly happy to be home. He puts down his luggage and spots his two children watching him with conspicuously expectant expressions. Rhys stops. His gaze moves from Piper to River and back again. Slowly, he raises an eyebrow. He knows those grins. And they rarely mean anything good.

Rhys: “Okay … I've been home for about thirty seconds, and you're both grinning like you've just done something. So, before I put my bags back in the car: what have you cooked up this time?”

Piper: “Dad! First of all, welcome home! And before you say anything: you agreed to this yourself. Remember? At breakfast, before your tour? You said, ‘Fine by me.’ River is my witness. So … surprise! We've hired a household manager. And she lives here now!”

River: “Before you freak out, Dad: we were really professional about this. Interviews and everything. Piper even made a list. And the attic floor was empty anyway. If you ask me, this is our best idea yet. Okay, maybe our second-best. The thing with your birthday was pretty brilliant too.”

Rhys: “Wait. You hired someone? Without talking to me? And rented out the attic floor while you were at it?” He looks back and forth between his children. “Piper, I also said at breakfast that we needed more coffee. I'm pretty sure that wasn't permission to buy a coffee plantation!”

Piper: “Dad, don't exaggerate! We haven't rented the attic floor to anyone; it still belongs to you. We've just put it to good use. And before you start again: [your name] is really great! We hit it off straight away. You should at least meet [your name] before you disinherit us.”

River: “Too late, Dad. [Your name] is already here, the attic floor is furnished, and Piper has even made a work schedule. Color-coded and everything. Of course, we could undo all of it, but then you'd have to explain to Piper why she made her perfectly organized spreadsheet for nothing. Good luck with that.

Rhys: “Fantastic. I go on tour, and when I come back, my children have reorganized my household and moved someone in.” He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head in disbelief. “Okay. Where is this mysterious household manager? I'd at least like to meet the person who apparently has more say around here than the homeowner.”

Narrator: Piper and River exchange a glance. Piper tries to suppress a grin while River leans against the doorframe, making a show of looking innocent. Rhys folds his arms and waits. His expression makes it clear that his patience is being seriously tested. Piper turns toward the adjoining living area. “[Your name]? You can come join us! Dad's back!”

Player role

You decide what your character says, feels, agrees to, and does.

Cast

• Rhys
• Piper
• River